


reforget

by petras



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: 2nd POV, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, POV Second Person, Unrequited Love, angst angst baby, im so sorry peri, one-sided lapidot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 16:13:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13438467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petras/pseuds/petras
Summary: No matter what you do, it's always her that you'll be thinking of when you wake up early in the morning, or when you are eating her favorite meal, or when you are watching Camp Pining Hearts that you two would always binge together, heck, even when you are partying the whole night away in attempts to forget, thoughts of her will always remain in your mind.





	reforget

**Author's Note:**

> written two years ago, i forgot how it went tbh. sorry.

You've been waiting. You've been waiting for three years and 5 months, to be exact. You've been waiting for a girl who will never come back. You've been waiting for an answer that will never come at all.

So why bother waiting in the first place? Easy.

You can't move on.

No matter what you do, it's always her that you'll be thinking of when you wake up early in the morning, or when you are eating her favorite meal, or when you are watching Camp Pining Hearts that you two would always binge together, heck, even when you are partying the whole night away in attempts to forget, thoughts of her will always remain in your mind.

Because that's how she is. Her presence never left and no matter what you do, there's always a voice in the back of your head saying that  _she's here, she's alive_.

The fact that your focus is entirely drained because of it makes it all the more annoying, especially since you're sleep deprived nowadays.

"Uhh... Peri? You okay there bud?" You hear the worried voice of your best friend and then you're snapped out of your thoughts. Amethyst looks at you with a concerned gaze, even after the years the Latina is still not used to your daze-outs. She then surprises you by rubbing your cheek with her hand and rub the space below your eyes.

"What?" You brought up your hands to you face and you didn't even realize the tears that were there. "Oh."

Removing your glasses, the type that makes you look like a nerd, and rubbing of the tears from your eyes, you hear footsteps coming towards you.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." You try to affirm yourself.

Steven, oh that pure kindhearted boy, sits down on the vacant chair. His face scrunched up with worry and you felt so bad for ruining today for him.

"It's okay Steven," you try to tell him. The tears are gone and you're very sure that there is no redness in your eyes. "It was probably from the lack of sleep." You try to come up with an explanation but deep down you felt bad for lying.

"As you know that I have been up late making blueprints on inventions that could actually w–"

"–Peridot."

His voice stopped you from rambling on and on and as little as he may, you flinched. He looks at you with conviction for a moment and you can feel the slightest drop of sweat on you and he sighs.

"Peridot, you know you could trust us right?" And he smiles at you with that one smile that can make you feel that you are validated but makes your skin crawl with guilt. He doesn't need to know.

Amethyst looks at you both from the opposite end of the table. You look at your surroundings and noticed just how few people are in the cafe. Your eyes then return to the young boy besides you.

"It's nothing, Steven." You said this with confidence because it's nothing he should be involved in; you give him an empty smile. "Really."

He does not seem convinced but you give him another one of your grins and he lets it go. "Ok then. I'll be just in the counter if you need me."

You watch him leave, training your eyes on him till he's out of sight behind the counter. You sigh under your breath. That was a close call.

"Ahem." A fake cough brings you out of your short-lived relief when your purple dyed haired friend looks at you displeased.

"You sure that wasn't anything?" She rolls her eyes at you but you keep silent, playing with the teaspoon in your empty cup instead.

"Oh, come on Peri." At this, she slaps a hand on your back and you feel the veins in your head starting to throb.

"I said it was nothing." You retort, almost growling.

"You're still hung up on her."

It wasn't a question, she knows, it was a statement. A statement her friend knows all too well will lead her to a fit of rage.

"Why would I be?" You half-shout and half-snorted.

"Geez, Per." She waves her hands, playing it off as a joke. "Don't get all defensive."

You close your eyes and inhaled deeply. You need to calm down first. Think it through before acting. You're not usually like this and it's also because of the lack of sleep. You slowly exhaled and opened your eyes.

"It's not like you're any better." You snide.

Amethyst only shrugs at you, not really knowing how to answer to that. After all, the Latina was never one to go ballistic over tiny problems such as yours because you are so stupid and terribly naïve to fall in love with the person who proclaimed themselves being the traumatized one out of the group, and now look what happened to you. Heartbroken and desperate for answers.

But you're too prideful to even give the others a chance for you to express yourself, so you just grunted at your fellow short friend and slowly trudged to the bar counter, self deprecative thoughts looming in your head.

* * *

You're never one to sit idly and just think. You are a person of action, one who does not wait for solutions to appear, one who does not wait for others to spoon feed you and now look at you.

You're just wiping the recently washed glasses of the bar, a faraway gaze etched on your face and you just listen to white noise of the people chattering in the background and mindlessly prepares your customer's orders with your mind in auto-pilot.

It's pitifully depressing, and you begin to wonder where the Peridot from before had run off to. Where had the vibrant and silly girl of your childhood has hid herself. The thought sounds ludicrous and you wants to laugh at herself but you can't. Not now, not here.

You, Peridot Olivine, bitterly laughs for falling so hard, both in love and in heartbreak.


End file.
